Giving Up Alcohol - How I Was Effected

No Alcohol Beyond This Blog!

Hello All. My name is Lee Mitchell and I would like to take
this opportunity to Welcome you to my Giving up Alcohol Now Blog. I can only guess that you have arrived at this page because you feel you have a drink problem and need to know how to quit drinking, or maybe you are not sure. Maybe you are still in the denial stage and just trawling through the internet anyway? who knows. What I can tell you is that I Myself have been an alcoholic for about 24 years, and have a good Idea what implications alcohol brings to us, and how hard giving up alcohol really is. I have also learned a lot about the effects of alcoholism both short and long term.

As a recovering alcoholic, I spend most of my time dissecting my past, constantly asking myself why it got to the stage it did, why did it happen to me? why did I let it happen? why was it me who ended up hurting my family? whilst I had an alcohol addiction, I felt lost, I felt alone, like it was just me this was happening to. I had to sink to my lowest of  lows to make me stop my destructive path I was venturing on. What I did was inexcusable but more on that a little later.                        

When you think about it, how can anyone really identify the real causes of alcoholism, is there any? what turns a good family man/woman into a deceitful lying scum bag? (in reality that's how people around you perceive you), It doesn't happen to everyone does it. Now when I refer to the word "Everyone" I mean "the normal person", by that I mean the kind of person that can go out or stay in and enjoy just one or two drinks and then stop, then wake up in the morning bright and fresh and ready for the day and not think about drink again for weeks after. I always wished I could be that person. I am 10 months sober now and to be honest I am loving every minute of it. Stopping drinking was honestly the best thing I ever did, not just for me but also for my dear family. You see, putting the drink down is easy, its staying off it that isn't, so I started to read ebooks on how to quit. I wanted to learn about alcohol recovery, so I purchased an ebook course. I have a link to the site HERE if you would like to look at this, my mind is clearer now and I've finally gained the trust of both friends and family that was once in total ruin. Of course this wasn't easy for me, far from it in fact. I had to really knuckle down and earn that trust. When I finally gave up I had to change as a person. I had to change my way of living, and the way I handled every day problems, and my overall outlook on life. Yes it was really difficult after what alcohol did to me. I was set in my ways, but I knew if I carried on down this road I would end up either killing myself or someone else, or both. Click HERE to read what damage alcohol can do to your body, it really is quite shocking.

My lowest moment came a good few times during my days of alcohol abuse, but I still carried on pouring Stella artois down my neck. I was a bus driver and that is the worse occupation anyone with a drink problem can have. Usually driving buses for a living requires you to get up early in the morning, so if you were drinking the night before then it was lethal if you had alcohol in you blood whilst driving passengers around. Unfortunately I went one step worse, I started drinking at work! yes you read that right, I started to drink on my bus, passengers or no passengers, school kids or no school kids, I just had to have that drink in my hand. I got really sneaky with it by pouring cans of stella into empty bottles of lukozade, (pretty much the same colour) so the passengers didn't suspect anything. I knew what I was doing was wrong, yet still carried on. Needless to say in the end I got caught by an inspector after he smelt it on my breath. May 13th 2011, I lost my job, and nearly my wife and family. Back in 2005, I did the same thing but crashed my bus into another bus. That was a moment I did lose my family and my licence. I was banned from driving for 2 years. I am just fortunate this time that I have a very understanding wife. At first I felt I didn't deserve another chance because I'd not learned a damned thing from the first time it happened. But now with nearly 10 months of sobriety behind me, I feel now I do deserve that chance to get my life back together. You see, alcoholism is a disease, a disease that will be around for as long as us humans are, and anyone who is suffering as the alcohol takes hold, deserves the help and guidance adequate enough for a full recovery, but only, and I mean ONLY if they accept the help they need and have the willingness to change. These are vital ingredients you need to start you on that road to recovery. I can't emphasize enough to you how important these first steps are.

When I first put down the drink, I had That Willingness to stop, and that took a hell of a lot of self discipline and hard work. To much had happened. I'd put myself and my family through enough. I didn't want to lose my family, friends or my self respect for that matter. I finally had determination to set goals and stick with them. My feelings were that my family had been there for me through thick and thin, and now it's time I repaid them for all that tremendous support they gave me. I decided to look around for good alcohol counselling, so I found and enrolled on a free D.E.A.P course ( Dependency Emotional Attachment Programme). Now this was three times a week 10 am till 16:00 over 12 weeks What it does is it gets to the root of why we use alcohol to deal with the problems we face in life, and teaches us different ways to cope without picking up a drink. It goes through your feelings of resentments that you may have bottled up over the years, and still got hold of these feelings without ever letting them go(talking and dealing with them). It kind of strips you down and builds you back up again. I had to write my life story and read it out to the group. I actually enjoyed writing and reading that because it taught me a lot of things about myself. It was like an alcohol rehabilitation crash course. I also bought Ebooks to give me more hints and tips to get me through. You can have a look yourself at some of the popular ones HERE, I wanted to make sure I had all the help and support available, so giving up alcohol would be that bit easier. If I got urges, I'd sit and read my ebook or phone a group member. I had things in place to fall back on, and this was important.

Over time it does become easier I promise. I'm not fully recovered, and as an alcoholic I guess I never will be, but once you learn to deal with everyday life, and learn to deal with those urges, then that's the silver lining you start to see, the benefits of giving up alcohol will start to shine through for you. It was actually fantastic that as the weeks of sobriety went by I could see the little breakthroughs of progress I was making. My wife started to trust me to go to the shop for things like bread and milk without worrying that I might sneak beer down my neck, or bring them into the house and hide them. My step daughter started to talk to me in a more trusting way. It was things like this that spurred me on. I feel now that I've come to far in my sobriety to through it all away. I've had a good taste of the good life, and can now feel emotions that I never felt before. I love family life now, and its nice to spend time with them without getting agitated and restless wondering when I can sneak off to get my fix. I am finally free and loving it, and you too can share my success! if you would like to leave comments then please do!! I would love to hear from you. You can also give my giving up alcohol squidoo lens a visit to get even more tips and tricks.

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Alcohol Rehabilitation - My Strategies For Coping With Urges

When giving up alcohol, its always best to put some strategies in place so you can deal with situations like family functions and how best to deal with them. Here are six strategies that really helped me.

Strategy 1 -  Escape

Family parties in function rooms or House parties are a typical example here. This is of course through personal experience. I have learned that situations involving being surrounded by alcohol, and people drinking alcohol is lethal in terms of my possible using. I have found myself in this situation before and found it very very uncomfortable. However it is essential that you make an exit immediately.

Strategy 2 - Avoidance

Prevention is always better than the cure, so I will Try to avoid certain situations in the first place. Example, avoid  family functions altogether, at least in the early stages of sobriety. My trigger for an urge is when I’m on my own, and my family are not around me. Avoiding situations like this limits the chance of relapse. keeping in touch with people that don't drink like AA groups is a really good way of dealing with this, or visiting a good friend who understands your predicament. Avoiding old drinking pals and family functions can only be good for me and my family’s well being.

Strategy 3 – Distraction

Reading for me is a very good way of distraction at things like family functions, or talking to people who do not drink. If there are children around then playing and entertaining them is a good and proven exercise for me. I would go in another room if there's a television and watch that. giving up alcohol is tough enough so it is essential you don't put yourself in awkward situations.

Strategy 4 – Keeping things in perspective

I've blown things out of proportion when I lost my job. As soon as it happened I went on a bender. In my mind I was about to lose everything, my family, my job, my pride all in one fell sweep. Things got out of hand in my head and couldn't think straight. My brain went into some kind of sod everything mode. With that I tried to drink myself into oblivion, and succeeded. But the problems were still waiting for me when I sobered up. If anything they were worse, much worse. My head seemed to go into total melt down. It felt as though my life was over. This usually happens when you know your at your lowest (this was my turning point). I knew I had to stop drinking. The best strategy you can practice is to sober yourself up and think of the people that you have hurt. Alcohol has a lot to answer to.


Strategy 5 – Thought Stopping

I had thoughts every time I finished work after using, and when I had more than I should have at home like hiding extra cans, and they were all guilty thoughts. I started to hate myself for all the lies I was dishing out to my family. I hated myself for putting all those people on my bus at risk of injury or even death because of my selfish act. I felt guilty after every wet bed, yes alcohol had that to answer to as well. It made me lose total control of my bladder. I’ve let a lot of good decent people down in my time, people that love or loved me. So the strategy I used was to find a bit of me time and look in the mirror. yeah that's right, go look in the mirror at yourself. Talk to yourself, tell yourself what you see in that mirror. How would you describe that person looking back at you? I know It sounds a really crazy thing to do, but there's nobody there with you so let yourself go and chat to the person staring back at you, chances are the person looking back at you needs help. Think of all those thoughts that you used to think that made you feel low, and turn them thoughts around into something positive. I was really trying to quit alcohol and felt really proud of myself, so thinking back to how I used to feel gave me a really good sense of achievement.



Strategy 6 – Staying honest with yourself & self monitoring

I feel it is extremely necessary especially now to be honest with yourself as well as others. If your not going to be honest with yourself about urges, then how can you deal with them in the correct manner. Hiding your urges will make things 100 times worse. Telling other people is equally important. If my urge was strong I would contact a D.E.A.P group member, someone who's familiar with alcohol dependence. One strategy I used was to keep a diary, you can do this. Write your diary at the end of every single day describing how you felt today, what events have activated and how these activating events have made you feel, and finish off by writing what you have learned from how you reacted from these events. I feel by doing this, I'l be more honest with myself and others. Also, I feel by self monitoring in this way my urges will become more easily managed. You will find that developing a pattern of honesty in your life will give you a good sense of well being, and that is a   crucial element for our recovery. I for one have never been more honest in my life than I am today, and guess what, it FEELS BLOODY GOOD!!! here's to giving up alcohol, love ya Mum x.

Quitting Drinking - My Negative thoughts

These Examples below are the fears I lived with, making giving up alcohol in my opinion impossible. Or maybe these fears were subconsciously nothing more than excuses?. But the harsh reality was is simply this, I had to change.

 Example 1

One of my past negative thoughts about change was fear, fear of how I was going to socialise without alcohol, fear of how could I talk to people whilst sober? fear of not knowing what was around the corner, fear of what people may think of me if I act inappropriately If people wouldn't like me then how could I like myself. I was scared just in case I wouldn't sleep properly at night. What if when I give up drinking I still wet the bed and it was nothing to do with the alcohol in the first place, how embarrassing would that be. I would constantly worry about how I would cope with urges, and how strong they would be. I also worried about having to go through to many changes at once. I have tried giving up alcohol a few times and every time I felt fear I was right back on the booze again, to scared to get out of my bubble to face the world. I found myself fearing fear. I was frightened of not coping with the stresses of family life and the stress of financial matters. How will I get to know myself again? what if I can't find another way of coping in this big bad world?Alcohol is the only thing I know, the only thing I know that gets me through my working day and family life so how do I stop drinking? I would worry that I would become short tempered and snap at everyone I spoke to. It even crossed my mind that I’d become a really crap parent and husband if I gave up. Maybe I wouldn't like the person I'd turn into. How would I have fun if I put the drink down? How would I fill my time and what would I fill my time with? There was also the fear of building peoples hopes up and then relapsing and letting the people that love me down. If I went back to work now would I be able to keep off the bottle? Or would I be able to keep my urges whilst at work at bay? Also the fear of the realisation that I’m never going to drink again.

Example 2

Having the confidence to set goals and change as a person is a definite negative thought for me. I would like very much to go to collage and learn photography, but past experiences have taught me that low confidence has held me back, the confidence to build on relationships, the confidence to talk to people without worrying about making an idiot out of myself. Having the confidence to change alone is a frighting thought. The worry about stuffing things up because of low confidence or self esteem What if I have no confidence in going to meetings or even helping others to give up alcohol?. I will need the confidence to go for such collage courses and do well in life. For me going to collage, passing exams and doing well only seems to happen to other people. If I go to collage and fail then people may think the worst of me, they may think I’ve not tried hard enough or they may think I only did it to please other people. Even if I did pass the exams would I like it and stick it out?. Another example was thinking to my self “am I ready to admit to myself and others that I am an alcoholic?”. Am I ready to take that first step. I admitted to myself that I had a problem, I guess my family and friends just knew all along that I had a problem and didn't need reminding. The most important part for me was actually taking that step and admitting to myself I had a drink problem. I struggled admitting it to other people because I was frightened of the reaction.

Example 3

Another fear about putting down the drink was, and still is is family functions like birthday parties or weddings. I've attended a good few during sobriety and felt absolutely lost and very uncomfortable about been at these parties. Everywhere I turn there’s people sucking on an ice cold beer or a glass of wine and acting totally different to me. I become the odd one out. I would feel I’d have to laugh at their silly jokes just to fit in, just so I don't come across as miserable.
It makes me think that if this is how its going to be for the rest of my life, I might as well pick up again. I have not faced a Christmas or new year yet (as of writing this) whilst dry, and to be honest I’m not looking forward to it, but then again I have every faith in myself not to pick up and drink.
I spent most of last Christmas and new year very tipsy, and found it a perfect excuse to drink all day and night in front of my family, and nothing was said. If I was to give up drinking, this would all end and didn't want to face that prospect. To be honest it scared the hell out of me. My friends and family however have all agreed not to drink this Christmas and new year to which I’m grateful for.



Example 4

There was one time I decided to give up on my own accord, I must have been about 23 years old. It was after I wet my girlfriends parents bed. I suddenly decided that this was it, I was through with people nagging me to stop. I was also through with totally embarrassing myself in every way possible. I wanted to try and be someone better. I got a sudden feeling that I should be a better son and a better boyfriend, which I think was brought on by guilt.
I didn't really think that I had a problem though at this stage. I seemed to have a really strange attitude towards giving up. I just didn't want people nagging me. I was still in some kind of denial. I was a young lad that liked his drink, o.k I wet the bed a few times but that can be stopped. I still felt guilty about it though. I remember not so long after, probably about 2 days sober, going to the chippy for me and my mum. I just got to the chippy and along came my mates Lee and Francis. They just so happened to be on there way to a night club in Manchester. They'd been drinking already and I all of a sudden felt left out, and it has to be said...jealous. I knew what was coming next. As predicted they asked if I wanted to join them. They knew that I'd stopped drinking but still asked me. I explained to them that I was getting a sausage supper for me and mum, but they insisted in me going. Needless to say I ended up going leaving my mum wondering where me and her sausage had gone. I ended up coming home in the small hours scaring my dad half to death on his way to work. Apparently my parents were worried sick. I didn't even tell them where I’d gone. I woke up 12 hours later with a hang over from hell.



Example 5

When I was working on the buses I started to drink on my duty. I knew full well that what I was doing was terribly wrong. At first I'd only drink if I was on a late shift, but as time went on I started to drink on day shifts also. Here I was putting all these passengers lives at risk and I was doing nothing about it. I remember waking up in the morning before an early shift actually looking forward to getting my drink whilst I was behind the wheel. It seemed like that’s all I wanted to go to work for. I knew I had to stop doing this before I killed someone. One day after my shift I left 4 empty cans in my cab. The next morning my brother in law who also works at Tyrer bus found my bag of empties after he was allocated the same bus I'd been driving. He found me that day and had a word with me, my heart sank, yet at the same time I felt lucky that my brother in law got the bus I had and not somebody else. Mick (my brother in law) already had an idea that I was drinking on the bus anyway and I knew he wouldn’t say anything to work about it, but I did feel guilty about putting him in an awkward position, because if work found out what I was doing and also found out that Mick knew about it, his job would be on the line also, so taking into account what had gone on I decided that enough is enough. I just kept thinking how lucky I was that it was Mick that found my empties, so with that I promised Mick that I wouldn't do it again. My wife Liz found out about this and played hell with me, the hurt was etched on her face, she was hurting inside I could see, I felt for her. was this my future, was this what I was going to do for the rest of my life. Deep down I hoped not. I was confused inside. My head seemed to be spinning but my body not. How was I really going to stop doing this. I told my family that this was it and it will never happen again, but inside I was shiting myself. I didn't have a clue how I was going to stop drinking. Giving up alcohol was so scary but I had to stop drinking. Something needed to be done before it was to late, but what. I'd been here before and lost my family, licence, job, and self respect. I have learned nothing. I managed to give up for a few days and then my confidence to give up went. I wont be able to give up, that kind of thing only happens to other people, DOESN'T IT ??????????.

You see, these are the kind of thoughts that you must change in order to start sobriety. You will literally have to live and look at your life a whole lot different than when you were in drink, otherwise you will be known as what I call a "dry drunk", which basically means that you have put the drink down, but not changed any aspect of your life. The chances are, you'l find yourself back to square one and drinking again.

Giving Up Alcohol - The Story Of My Life

When I first tried giving up alcohol, I came up with various techniques to help me through the first part of sobriety and I wanted to understand how I ended up the way I did, so in order to understand myself a bit better I decided to write my life story of no more than 10 pages of A4 size paper. I believe that if you want to change your future then it's essential that you understand your past in order to see those pit falls, and when I read it back to myself  I could see the patterns throughout my life that got worse and worse. I could actually pin point my down falls. All of a sudden I seemed to understand myself more. I would definitely recommend to anyone giving up alcohol to do this, it really helped. The idea here is to start writing and don't stop. It doesn't have to be perfect but just a true account of how you ended up with your drink problem. don't even worry about paragraphs, just keep writing until you get to the present day. I started mine from birth. It took me a while to actually sit down and start writing. I couldn't for the life of me find the motivation to start it. What would I put, how do I start it?  but once I put pen to paper, I found a nice pathway through my life, and from then on I couldn't stop writing! I even found myself writing stuff down that even I'd forgot about. But because I was writing my way through my life, it was almost like I was reliving it all over again. You may find as your writing that some parts of your life will make you cry as you relive the emotions through a clear head, and some parts will make you laugh!

I found this method to be very helpful in my quest for giving up alcohol and finally being free. By the time I finished it and read it back to myself a few times it felt like a weight had been lifted. It doesn't matter how you write it or what you use to right it, be it Microsoft office, notepad or the good old fashioned way, there all just as effective.

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How To Stop Drinking Alcohol - What I Did

Well first off you will need to go through an alcohol detox. This is a really important step and needs to be done with certain guidelines. Now if you are a heavy drinker then I would definitely wean off slowly. It can be dangerous to suddenly deprive the body of alcohol after such a prolong use of high levels, but needs to be done nevertheless, for a good guideline on how best to detox your body, visit Alcohol Detox At Home. Here you will discover how best to come off alcohol.

Once you have detoxed, you will need to find ways to keep yourself clean, especially in the early stages of sobriety. Please try not to worry as it does get easier once you see the benefits of giving up alcohol. you will however, need to change your whole way of life. If you had drinking buddies you used to hang around with then you need to stop this now, This doesn't mean that you can't see them any more, it just means that you can't do what your used to doing with them any more, your drinking days have gone now my friend. If they are true friends then they will respect your wishes and keep you safe from alcohol.

I found that combining different methods like reading e-books and attending Alcohol groups can be very powerful, kinda like joining forces.The good thing about keeping e-books is that you can refer back to them whenever you feel you are struggling. I found some good ones that I found useful. Just click HERE.

Making sure you are prepared for sudden urges to drink makes perfect sense, but always remember that these urges don't last for long, though some will be stronger than others.

Here are some strategies I followed to cut those urges short.

• Stock up with lots of Coke, when you feel an urge coming, pour yourself a pint of ice cold coke and drink that. Its not only refreshing, it also gives your hands something to do.
• If your urges come at certain times of the day like mine did, then temporarily adjust your eating times to your urges, urges tend to fade when your stomach is full.
• If you have purchased e-books, reading them is an effective strategy because it refreshes the mind with vital information whilst at the same time sharpens your focus on what needs to be done.
• If you are involved with any groups then phoning members is a great way to blow those urges right out of the water.

What you should ALWAYS consider, when giving up alcohol.

• Never turn to none alcoholic drinks as a substitute, this will set off urges and the chances are you will slowly work your way up to the real deal, so do not use none alcoholic drinks as a way of urge control.
• Never get complacent, if you haven't read your e-books, phoned a group member or been to any meetings for a while then you'l find your mind starts to trick you, your mind will start convincing you that one drink will be o.k. Never listen to your mind when it's idle. Stay focused at all times and you will succeed with your goals.
• Never Hang out with old drinking pals, this will jeopardize all you are working towards.
• Stay away from pubs, clubs, any party where alcohol is involved and restaurants, there's a saying going around that if you keep going to the barbers then eventually you will get your hair cut.

Having said that, referring back to that last point, it depends on the person as an alcoholic. It is possible to learn different strategies to keep you safe should you decide to go to places like restaurants or for example,  a 60th birthday party down at the bingo hall. I personally have learnt some Technic's (explained in My strategies For Coping With Urges Post) to deal with these situations like this so I can go for meals with my wife at, if we're lucky, a posh Restaurant. But no way will I sit in a pub and sip orange juice whilst my mates have got pints of Stella in in their hand. I just wouldn't do it, and nor should you.

Here I've left you some useful Links I found really helpful.

The D.E.A.P programme

How To Give Up Alcohol e-book Course

Best selling e-books For Quitting Alcohol

Advice On Detox

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for reading about my experiences with alcohol, and how I once lost everthing. My advice throughout my site is based on what worked for me, and if you follow this advice and stay focused, especially through the early stages of sobriety, then you will be good to go. Me and  my lovely wife Liz would like to wish you all the very best in your success in beating alcohol. Remember that what you do in the next month or so will ether make you or break you, please be sure it's not the latter.
If you would like to ask me any questions, feel free to email me at givingupalcoholnow@gmail.com.

All the Best....LeenLiz X